Re-igniting the flame: Lessons from a burn(out) survivor.
There’s been increasing talk on the ‘Great Resignation’.
Employees, reclaiming their power, and rethinking their relationship to work. Many reports have linked this to pre-COVID burnout and the pursuit of a work life balance.
This prompted me to reflect on my own ‘Great Resignation’
Where I too, was a casualty of burnout.
Not that I knew it at the time. Nor would I have accepted it.
Burnout | The roadtrip to recovery.
The Signs
The thing with burnout, it's gradual and subtle, until it makes its presence known.
Burnout was not part of my vocabulary.
But I wish it was.
If I was aware of the five stages of burnout earlier, I might have been better prepared for what was to follow.
Approaching my tenth year in a company, progressing through seven roles, I had finally, landed the most exciting and challenging role yet. It was a role I loved, that motivated and inspired me. It brought out my leadership and responsibility. It was everything I could have hoped for.
This commenced the usual Honeymoon (Stage 1), filled with unbridled excitement and optimism of a new project, a new venture to prove myself.
As I persevered through the expected challenges, the Onset of Stress (Stage 2) began to appear. The days became longer...I worked most weekends...and with a under-resourced ‘team’ of two, battled in the trenches of unrealistic expectations and an increasing workload.
However, as each milestone was achieved, it all seemed worth it.
The passion masked the toll it was taking on my health. With little support and no self-care mechanisms in place, Chronic Symptoms (Stage 3) arrived - exhaustion, lack of sleep and lack of motivation, with very little hope of change in sight.
Unable to reconcile the lack of recognition, against the level of effort expended, recurring feelings of self-doubt, pessimism and frustration amplified.
My voice continued to be unheard, until, it became a mere whisper.
It led me to question ‘Why was I doing this to myself?'
And inevitably, I had officially reached Burnout or the Crisis (Stage 4).
I was faced with the decision, to either; choose myself and my wellbeing, OR a job I loved, that was slowly unravelling me.
Always choose yourself.
And I did.
I quit. With no job lined up.
It was one of my toughest career decisions, yet the sense of relief that followed, eased any concerns.
Perhaps it was my body recognising that I had escaped Habitual Burnout (Stage 5), where prolonged symptoms develop severe, long-lasting physical and mental problems.
The Recovery
Burnout creeps up on you unknowingly, but takes its time to let go its hold.
It took over a year to fully feel myself again.
But as I took one step at a time, I was determined to find meaning in this journey.
I found myself on an unplanned career break. Giving myself permission to indulge in a few months off. I immersed myself in nature, meditation, solo road trips, and even a yoga retreat in Bali (what’s an ‘eat pray love’ moment without one?).
The time away giving me valuable space, to reset and regain my clarity on what I wanted.
Yet, I was still marred by disorienting thoughts.
I soon faced feelings of shame and guilt, that I since learnt, often follows burnout.
I realised that my my self-worth and identity had been linked too tightly to a job and career.
I confronted limiting beliefs, of not having done enough, associating burnout with weakness and failure, doubting my capability. Thoughts I felt I had keep to myself, maintaining my 'in control' exterior, too ashamed and vulnerable to share.
However, as I committed to a path of self-discovery, I learnt the power of empathy in facing shame. I began to open myself up to meaningful connections, that attracted a selfless tribe that helped rebuild the pieces.
And as the path continues to evolve, I found the courage to own and share this story.
The Lessons
When we own our story, we can write a brave new ending.
Whilst we don’t choose burnout, the first step, is to acknowledge it.
In doing so, we can then choose to create meaning in its presence.
I can now appreciate the important lessons that it taught me and now guide me, both personally and professionally:
Choose yourself. You will always be your greatest investment.
Set boundaries. It's OK to take breaks, unplug, a balanced you, is a better you.
Follow your values. Your values, lead you to where you are valued.
Lead with empathy. Empathy converts our challenges to connections. It helps us better understand ourselves and others.
Power of your tribe. As much as we try, we can't do everything on our own. Surround yourself with those who support and empower you, without judgement.
It’s through our challenges, that we are forced to question, what, who, and where we ‘should’ be, and build the courage to step into who we truly ‘want’ to be.
At the time, I considered my Great Resignation amounted to a great failure.
However, I now realise that it was in fact a brave new beginning.
A beginning, that features a stronger, courageous and conscious leader.
That through owning her story, she takes control of her Great Ending.
And I hope by sharing this story, it can help others find theirs too.